If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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