The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
