he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize