It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
