you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
