I will die if light touches me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
