Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
