8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
