We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
