she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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