oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So many bounce houses so little time
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
