your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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