wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
3 2 1 whiskey
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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