can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
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he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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