u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
