Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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