wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
