yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
