what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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