Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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