I need help removing her.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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