I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
