I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
