I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
