can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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