Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
