I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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