If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
