You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
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