So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
