HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize