Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize