Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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