I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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