dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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