i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How's work?
Spinning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
