so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
