i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
