youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
