we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
