let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
