My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We got so high we made milksteak
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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