why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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