you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
