you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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