eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize