The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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