Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
