i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
