i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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