So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
