drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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