when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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