its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
