I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
