Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
