i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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