I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
