You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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