dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
