he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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