my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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