I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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